Today was the test for the 9th gup, yellow belt. "The yellow belt represents the heat and sun of very early spring. It is a transitional phase between the end of winter and early spring. It represents days with more sunlight, and the budding of new growth that is part of early spring."
I was so nervous before the test. Not because I didn't think I could do what was required, but because I didn't want to fail at breaking the board. I have an acute fear of social embarrassment. The thought of being in the center of the room and hitting or kicking the board and it not breaking made me break out in a sweat and not be able to breathe. In hindsight, I should have been more nervous about doing front shoulder roles than board breaking.
We started promptly at 9:00 this morning and ended two hours later. We began with a nice warm up. Then we went through kicks (including front, side, round and a few others), punches, chops and blocks (low, high, middle). Next up were the forms: Ki Cho Hyung Il Bu, Ki Cho Hyung E Bu, and Ki Cho Hyung Sam Bu. Then we did front and back shoulder roles both left and right sides; followed by front and back falls.
The we paired up for self-defense -- side grab, cross-hand grab, front kick and middle punch. The last thing was the board breaking. I was in the second row and had to wait quite a while before it was my turn. I found it hard to sit there and watch all the others try. Selim attempted the elbow technique and did not break the board. The board had a knot in it and nobody noticed it right away. Once they changed boards, he was ready for a different method, and he broke it the first time with a middle front kick (Choong Dan Ahp Cha Ki).
Finally, when it was my turn, I opted for the same technique. And I broke it on the first try. Embarrassment avoided.
At the end, Selim and I were both promoted. He is now 8th gup orange belt.
and I'm 9th gup yellow.
I stayed behind to watch the orange belt with a stripe and up test while Robert brought Selim back to the house. Where we did kicks going forward, they were doing jumping kicks moving forward. If we had to do back kicks, they were doing spinning back kicks. Everything was harder and in a more difficult combination. Luckily I have the orange belt and orange with a stripe test before I have to do that.
The hardest part for me was not having a camera in my hands while Selim was doing his moves. But Robert and Nedim were there to take up the slack. It is hard to post my picture because I feel I look like the Pillsbury dough boy in my white uniform, but I'll just have to put my vanity aside for this. Because Selim and I do look good in our new belts.
Additionally, we had to write an essay. Mine had to be 100 words and it could be anything I wanted on what I think about karate. Selim had to compose 200 words on how karate helps him outside of class. For him, I took dictation and typed it up. I dreaded the exercise, but it ended up being painless. He had a lot to say and good examples for me to write down. I was very proud of him.
Mine went like this: "Before last year, if I thought much about karate, it would bring to mind images of black belts, flying kicks, and loud grunts. And then last year my son, Selim, joined the pee wee group and I began to have a different association with the word.
As I watched Selim every week in class, I noticed the obvious -- kicks, punches, chops, the wearing of the uniform, the belt colors, and breaking of boards. As the year wore on, I began to notice the discipline, focus, patience, fun, concentration, strength, coordination, achievement, and respect -- all qualities that emerged from the class.
When I joined, I did so that Selim and I could do something together. If he were to be in the hour long class, I didn't want to have to sit for that long and watch. But after the few short months that I have been coming to class, my focus has changed. I'm there for myself -- my own growth, self-discovery, and physical journey that I had not anticipated.
My favorite part of class comes when we practice the forms. It is like dance, but with a different power element, a more controlled structure, and the cracking sound of the uniforms when moves are made crisply instead of the swishing of ballet slippers across the floor. I love it.
As I continue, I need to get over the discomfort with sparring. When I hear the work, I start to cry. When I face my partner, I feel the tears gathering behind my eye lids. I need to work on it, to get more comfortable and be able to focus.
Karate now evokes energy, strength and flexibility, discipline, respect, friendship, fun, self-discovery, and power."
I think Selim and I are both going to have a good night's sleep, now that the test is over. No more anxiety or nervousness. I'm happy. I did it. I persevered through my anxiety and broke the *&#$%! board on the first try.
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