Dads' Day

Happy Father's Day to all the dads in my life, especially my dad, Robert and Nedim.  I am fortunate to have two great men parent me -- who love me unconditionally, want only the best for me, cheer all my success and prop me up during times of failure and heartache. 

And Nedim, the father of my child, who loves Selim with his whole heart and often tells him, "You are the best thing that ever happened to me.  You are my world."  And that is true.

It was sweet for me to see two of the three today.  I spent last night at the Ashram so I got to give Robert a father's day hug and kiss in person this morning.  For dessert last night I made strawberry rhubarb pie (the top crust looked prettier in real life), one of his favorites.  The rhubarb is from their garden, courtesy of plants from Grammy Louise, given to Mom in 1975 or 1976.  I had my slice with a generous dollop of whip cream, to honor her memory.

At noon today we met up with Nedim at a State Park west of Concord, for a picnic, organized by the Turkish Cultural Center.  I had met a few of the people at the event in Concord a month ago, so I wasn't among strangers.  I was the only woman who didn't speak Turkish, but there were enough who were bi-lingual that I could join in the conversation at sporadic intervals.  Selim played very well with a younger boy.

After the first round of food -- salad, rice pilaf and kofta/ hamburgers, the men played soccer.  It wasn't as if they deliberately left the women with the food, but only the guys crossed the road to the field to play.  Well, the guys and I.  I sat on the bench while Selim and Mohamed played ball on off to the side or climbed the fence.  We were close enough to a group from Bosnia (who were also their to picnic) to enjoy their music and Selim would dance at the lively parts.

When the game was over, it was time for food, part two and more conversation.  And then another round of soccer.  I enjoy seeing my hubby in his cultural environment, speaking his native language.  He gets so animated and happy.  We all stayed much longer than anticipated.  And since there wasn't any alcohol,  I didn't worry about designated drivers or any of the other icky stuff that comes along with sun, warm weather and too much drink.

Tomorrow is Selim's last day at school.  Summer vacation -- here he comes!

Of berries and balance

This was not a week where I accomplished balance in my life.  I did not exercise.  I picked tons of strawberries.  I survived the late work nights by eating chocolate and drinking caffeinated coffee.  It was not a week where I did things in moderation.

Thursday morning Mom and I saw Selim off to school on the bus and then hit the road ourselves.  We didn't eat breakfast or shower.  He wanted to get to Butternut Farm to pick strawberries early, before they were picked out.  I don't think we needed to be anxious, but we had not been there for strawberries before and didn't know the set up.  Their plants are big and the rows are separated by straw.  And the berries were perfect.  In under an hour, I picked 10+ pounds of berries and Mom trumped me.

I opted not to go to karate so that I could make jam and start to prep the berries for freezing.  I made a batch of strawberry rhubarb jam.  I added a few squeezes of lime juice and 1/4 teaspoon of rose water.  Divine.  Then I made a batch of plain strawberry jam.  And sliced one big cookie sheet full of berries to freeze. 

And I still had plenty of berries to work with another day.

So yesterday I made a batch of strawberry peach jam and froze more berries.  I get satisfaction from freezing fruit.  We have eaten all the blueberries and peaches from last year.  I didn't pick enough strawberries last year to freeze.  With each bag of berries that I stack in the freezer drawer, my smile gets wider.

I've made it through week two of the night shift.  Yesterday, as I walked from the parking lot to the employee entrance, a former day shift coworker looked at me and said, "I feel so sorry for you!"  I smiled and kept walking.  Then just as I was about to enter the building, another guy walked out, saw me, and said the exact same thing.  Granted, it was a gorgeous afternoon, but it was a little weird.

There are some aspects of second shift that I love -- being able to pick strawberries in the early morning, for example.  But I am still struggling with the late hours.  Towards the end of the week, I wasn't waking up at 4:00...so that helps.  But I had a harder time falling asleep when I got home and I was still waking up around 5:00, then 6:00 and then up for real at 6:45.  I will be happy when my body lets me sleep for over four hours at a time.

On a totally non-related subject, when I went to Selim's classroom before the field trip on Tuesday, I stopped to look at the art work in the hallway.  I had to take a picture of Selim's name game.  What other child would define himself in terms of being a meat eater?  He self-identifies that way in contrast to me and in solidarity with his dad.  It just made me laugh.

The other piece that was up there was about the differences between being a baby and now.  When he asked for a baby photo, he said, "I need a picture of when I was a baby, but without all the face gear.  My teacher said that we can't have a picture with the face gear."  Interesting.  She would not have said that, because she wouldn't know that all his early photos have him with the feeding and ventilator tubes.  But he didn't want to have those photos displayed...I can understand that.  We chose one from when we lived in Kittery and he is about a year old.

Field Trip

Because of my new schedule, I was able to chaperon on Selim's field trip without taking any time off from work.  The whole first grade went to New Castle -- for tide pools, playground fun, and other games.  I got paired up with another parent and we were responsible for three boys.  The arrangement worked well.  They explored the tide pools and then played right at the shore line, digging bigger pools and making a canal system.  They entertained themselves for over 1 1/2 hours.

Around 11:30 we ate lunch.  I had brought a big container of watermelon and raspberries to share and the boys polished off the fruit in no time.  Then it was on to tag, Frisbee and climbing a big rock and tree.

Before the buses pulled away, Selim's class took a group photo.   At 1:00 they had boarded the bus and were on their way back to school.  Since the line to exit the park was so long, I decided to nap in my car and wait.  I rolled down the windows, turned on the radio and slept for an hour and ten minutes.  When I woke up, the 17 buses and accompanying chaperon cars were gone and I was able to leave without waiting in line.  And then I went to work.

Every day I have a better sense of the job.  There is so much to do that the night goes by really quickly.  This week I'm helping out a team since their regular supervisor is on vacation.  That gives me specific tasks that I can do and feel useful.

Friendship

I'm on the couch at Mom and Robert's, watching the French Open finals between Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic.  No matter who wins, it will be "historic."  Nadal is going for 7 French Open wins, beating Borg's record.  If Djokovic wins, he will have the career Grand Slam, while holding all four majors and will have beaten Nadal in all four to get them. 

Yesterday was very sweet.  The morning started off right with a great karate class.  The studio was crazy busy.  The pee-wee class was going on the back.  Mr. Hebert was giving a make up test to 10 students on the mat side of the room and Mr. Franz was teaching the regular class.  Focus was the word of the day.  We started with the regular warm up and stretches, followed by kicking drills, then moving forward in stances and combination kicks and punches.  We ended the class with forms.  After two small week day classes, I enjoyed the energy of the big group.

After class, Selim and I headed straight for the Ashram.  We hadn't made the drive over in weeks.  Since we were coming over, Amy and Jacob decided not to go to Boston.  We ate lunch at their house and then went to the lake.  The boys put on their wetsuits and had the best time in the water.  Amy and I stayed dry on land and didn't have to referee from shore that often. 

They put on wet suits, goggles and at times, booties...

swam...

with water guns...

played on the blue floaty chair...

on the surf board or base of a windsurfer...

until their hands were raisinesque.

At one point, even Luna got into the action with the special pet life jacket, which she didn't enjoy.

The water play was followed by snacks on the float/boat.

We had wild life sightings of a great blue heron

beautiful butterflies

a loon and water snake that I didn't get to document.

In the evening, we drove down the road to Shipp and Judith's.  Mira is up and wanted to have a "modeling" session in the woods at their house.  She had set up lights and props in the woods.  We (Selim, Megan, Veera and I) were dressed in our pajamas and we were tasked with moving -- dancing, walking, posing, climbing the ladder, digging, creating stick sculptures.  In the end, we loosened up a little and interacted with each other more.  We laughed a lot.  Selim did great -- he whacked sticks, climbed trees, was game to participate and didn't complain when towards the end, the mosquitoes were out in force.

When Mira had taken enough pictures, we went inside.  Robert came and picked up Selim which gave me a chance to hang out.  Mira, Veera and I took our mugs of tea and went upstairs for some girl talk.  I didn't glance at my watch until 9:40 and realized that I better get back.  There is something about connecting with friends of long standing.  Even though Mira and I have lived in the same area for only 4 or 5 years out of our 37 years of knowing each other, when we can be together, we pick up right where we left off.  It is easy, fun, and so sweet.

I'm so lucky to have these friendships.  It has been a great, restorative 26 hours.

New Routine

Second shift life has begun.  It has been an interesting couple of days.  While part of me is trying to remember how I structured my days for three years when I was on night shift before, I'm also in a different situation.  For these first two weeks, I don't have to be parent on duty for the full morning.  I get Selim off to the school bus, and then I have the rest of the morning to myself.  My goal is to figure out when to nap, eat, exercise -- so when school ends and I've got Selim until I leave for work, my routine will be set.

Monday, during the day, I didn't know what to do with myself.  I rested.  Did chores.  But I felt at loose ends.  It was so weird to be home in the morning all by myself.  My first day on the job went well.  I stayed awake until midnight and drove home safely.  Yesterday I felt woozy in the morning.  I dropped Selim off at the bus and then came back home to bed.  This morning I had a headache, but I put on my running gear before heading out to the bus stop.  After the Selim go on the bus, I ran the 3 mile loop.  That felt great.   I haven't run in over a week.  It was overcast and cool -- perfect temperature for exercising.  When I got home, I went out to the garden and picked kale and spinach for my green drink.  I added lime juice and I like that better than lemon.

So now, I need to pay bills, make something for dinner so that there is food for Mom and Selim tonight.  And I should see if I can rest.  I have these fantasies that I will quilt, garden, run errands and be totally productive.  I think I need to have some patience with my body and not expect that I can just go, go, go from 6:45am when I get Selim up to 12:17am the next day when I get home from work.  There has to be a balance somewhere in that time frame.