Mid-October already?

I downloaded my pictures off my camera yesterday and realized that I had a few events documented that I never wrote about.  So here is the cliff notes version of the past two months.

The last week of August Selim started 4th grade.  He got the teacher he wanted and several of his best buds are in his class.  As he said the first day of school, "This is going to be the best year ever."  It is so easy to get an eager kid out of the house and on the bus.  Although since I'm now on day shift and starting my work day at 5:30, I'm not the one usually putting him on the bus.

While Selim was starting school, Nedim was in in Turkey, enjoying a much needed 12 days back in his mother country.  Our family goal is to go next summer.  I know we have been saying that for a few years now...but we really need to make it happen.

Selim chose the Trumpet as his musical instrument of choice.  He takes lessons at school and will join the band later in the fall.  We have enjoying listening to his 15 minutes of daily practice.

Selim and I took a small hike on Blue Job.  On our way up, he practiced his karate stances on various rock formations.  The air temperature starting out was cool.  As we climbed up, we shed clothing.  On the way back down, we put it back on again.  We enjoyed the view from the fire tower.  It was nice to do something different and get a little exercise.

September brought on Jacob's birthday and a fun afternoon party with his classmates.  Nedim had brought back Fenerbahce soccer jerseys for both boys and they were a hit.

We lucked out with the weather that day.  Earlier Robert and Selim had been on a whale watch.  Heavy rain blew in just at the tail end of their adventure.  When Selim and I were in Concord with Jacob and the other party goers, we missed the tornado warnings back at the coast.  And on our drive home, the rain was always just a bit in front of us and we didn't drive home in bad weather.

Later in the month Sant Bani had its homecoming.  Selim came in third in the 1/4 mile kid fun run -- his best result ever.  The festivities also included a portable rock climbing wall brought in by Evo Rock + Fitness.  That was a hit.  Selim had been to their place in Concord before, but for some reason, he was reluctant to try it alfresco.  I think he did it just to stop my pestering form of encouragement.

October arrived and the leaves began to change color.  I've had my camera in my car, hoping that I would be in the right place to take the perfect leaf changing picture.  Alas, I've been in bumper to bumper traffic, or going too fast to stop, or on the wrong side of the highway...to get the shot of the tree, tree and water reflection, or tree and beautiful building combo.  Frustrating.  One afternoon before meeting the school bus, I did stop off by Great Bay and took a few pictures.

I liked how the leaves were half and half.  I don't remember seeing them change color like that.

After that I went to a cemetery where I have taken pictures before.  The trees hadn't fully changed color, so the pictures weren't spectacular.  Oh well.

Last Sunday, Nedim and I celebrated out 11th wedding anniversary.  We had a great Thai meal and I made him take pictures with me.

Friday, Selim turned 10.  Oh my.  Double digits.  He is the light of our lives and we can't believe how wonderful it is to be his parents.

And to cap it off the big week, Selim participated in a karate tournament yesterday.  He won a silver medal for sparring.  It was a long day, and he competed well, showed respect to the judges, and did his best.  I couldn't have asked for anything more.

And I took my best board braking picture yet.

So that is the two month recap!

Just checking in

Dear Bebek,

Just checking in with you today.  I woke up before my alarm, thinking about you.  But I wasn't sad.  Instead, I felt calm and peaceful.  I felt surrounded by Grace.  Today was a warm morning and the air was moist and soft.  My bedroom windows were open and I spent my first conscious moments breathing in the air, grateful that I wasn't on my bathroom floor, feeling the pain spasms of you separating from my body. Instead, I was snug underneath my latest quilt, enjoying the beauty of something I had created.

At odd moments throughout the day I thought of your soul.  When I put on my shoes, I wondered if you would have liked them or if you would have rolled your eyes at me once I showed them to you. I'm training a group of five new hires and they are smart, funny, and we are in the still getting to know each other phase.  And part of that means telling them a bit about me and my family.  I told them how Sunday night Selim asked me if there was anything good on TV. And by good, he clarified, "I don't mean football or baseball." Then I wondered what you might have liked watching?  What would our Sunday evening viewing be if we had two kids instead of one?  Surely if I had been fated to have two kids, one would have liked watching sports with me.

After work I had an appointment in Portsmouth and the woman waxing my eyebrows asked me about my day.  I told her that it had been a good day and that I had booked the session for a little pampering on this difficult anniversary.  When I left, very softly she said, "I'll say a prayer for you tonight."  She meant it and I have had this feeling of being well cared for today.

I've changed in the eleven years since it has been since I lost you.  I'm stronger.  I have survived the grief.  I have survived the loss -- of the physical, of the idea of you, of the dream you represented, of the vision that I had of my future family.  I don't know where your soul is today.  But if my sense of grace and calm is in any way shape or form connected to you -- then you are in a great place.  God willing,  Inshalla, I am right about that.

Good night, Bebek.  If you are on this earth, sweet dreams.
Love,
Mom

Landscape Class

This weekend was the World Quilt Show in Manchester.  I signed up for a Jo Diggs Landscape and Beyond workshop.  The description and a picture of her work can be found in this link.  The description is pretty clear, but still, I wasn't exactly certain what to expect.  Never the less, I had my supplies ready by Friday night and had a hard time sleeping.  I kept dreaming of fabric.

I arrived at the hotel conference room in plenty of time.  If I wasn't the youngest lady in the class, then I was a close second.  We went around the room and introduced ourselves by our name and what we did during the day when we weren't quilting.  The other ladies led impressive lives.  I thought it interesting how many of them had very analytic and intellectual day jobs - computer programmer, librarian, and other professions.  Many were retired and quilted while their spouse golfed.  It was a fun group of women.

We started out by looking at examples different categories of quilts and their designs.  We looked at pictures, real quilts, and poster size reproduction.  Examples also came from magazines, catalogs and calendars.  Very thought provoking and creative juice instigating.  Then Jo showed us how to construct a landscape using fabric.  So inspiring how she combined fabrics and manipulated the patterns to get the effects that she wanted.  In no time she had made a mountain landscape.  What was really helpful -- after getting the basic design, she moved pieces around and introduced other bits of color to transform.

Then we took our photos and began cutting.  My first stab involved photos that I had taken from the top of the chair lift at Gunstock along with one in the Ashram's East Field.  I cut, moved paper, tried to line up horizontal lines, and came up with nothing but frustration.

So I moved on to my back up plan which were photos taken in Arizona in 2011.  The thing is, I generally do not take landscape pictures.  I like taking photographs of sculpture, or buildings...or Selim.  I haven't taken many landscapes or wide open spaces.  I didn't have a lot to work with.  The Arizona pictures I had 4x6 pictures made and then I color copied them and that helped.  I had sets of those plus some of the same copied in black and white.  I'm not so good at abstract.  I like pattern and straight lines.  So I began to cut up the pictures in 1 and 2 inch strips and in half.  I made a long row and underneath, flipped them upside down, but not in exact reflection.  But it looked to wide and short, so I added another right side up row.

Using black paper strips to tidy up the edges

At home, trimmed, and on my cutting mat

I had no idea what I was doing, but it was fun and challenging.  Jo came over and said that nobody had ever combined photos in that way before.  She liked how the white spaces repeated themselves, but not in a structured way.  She said that I had a lot to work with.  My next step is to take the collage to a photo/copy center and blow it up big.  I need two copies -- one for reference, and one to cut up and use for pattern pieces.

I think I may blow up one section really big and work on that, before I tackle the whole thing.  It seems to me that it would be easier to learn how to applique if I start with pieces that are relatively big.  Right now, if I didn't enlarge the image, I would be working with some really small pieces.  The whole piece is 22 x 10.

I left that alone and went to lunch and browse through the exhibit hall and vendors.  There was a section of Kaffe Fassett quilts.  I have books with those quilts, so it was fun to see them in real life.  Like any art form, some quilts speak to me and others, not so much.  There was a special series called Compelled - A Canadian Landscape Portrait by Anna Hergert that I loved.  Her work called my name loud and clear.  Also, I learned about some other fabric and quilt stores in my state that I will have to investigate.

Feeling a bit more hopeful about what I was doing in class, I went back and tried to work with the winter landscapes.  This time I cut three photos into two inch strips and worked on putting them together so that there was some horizontal line matched up as I moved from strip to strip.  I would arrange the photo strips, take a picture, and then rearrange.  It was fun.  I didn't get something that I liked as much as my morning project, but I definitely began to think in a new direction.  As I was driving back home today I knew Selim just wanted to get home.  So I didn't, but I was tempted many times to pull over to the side of the road and haul out my camera to get a landscape shot.

I feel energized and ready to expand my quilting.  If I enjoy these new projects, I think it will have a spillover effect on my photography as well.  I'm looking forward to a shift in my creative endeavors.

Beach Day

We haven't had too many beach days this summer.  I've been working a lot of overtime and on other weekends, the weather hasn't cooperated.  Today was Chamber of Commerce weather -- 80 degrees, low humidity and a slight breeze.  Usually if we get to the beach before 9:00, there are plenty of parking spaces.  Not today.  Everybody must have watched the weather and headed out early like us. The parking lot at Jenness was full, so we went back to the main drag.  We didn't have luck getting a place close enough.  That made us try a side street.  It looked like I had found a space -- Selim got out and directed me in.  "A bit more to the right...just a tad bit more...the back end is sticking out too much."  I'm a pretty good at parking, but not today.  Then we heard this lady calling us from her yard, "just park in my driveway.  It's OK.  I don't have a car today."

I got out and asked her if she was sure.  "You had such a nice young man helping you into the spot, and he was doing a great job.  I don't want you to get a ticket.  Please, use my driveway."

And we did.  It was a short walk to the beach and I was thankful for her generosity.  The beach was packed, at 9:00.  There were tents set up on the sand, piles of surfboards, huge beach umbrellas, and lots of people.  We staked out our small section of beach and went in the water.  Selim went in before I could finish my coffee.  And the water was cold.

We had such a good time.  We had three long swim and boogie board sessions with intermissions of snacks and walks along the tide line.  I  brought my camera and enjoyed taking pictures of all the surfboards.  While we weren't in Maui with other members of our family, we did our best to imitate their beach activity.

On our way back to the towels from our longest walk, I asked him if I could take a picture of his back.  He stood still, hunched his shoulders and dropped his head.

"Not that look.  Can you stand up straight, please?"  And he gave me this, a back with some attitude!

The waves were bigger than the last time we were there.  Selim rode some great waves that took him all the way in.  Epic and boss were adjectives he used to describe his rides.  On his last big ride, he stayed on his board and enjoyed the warmth of the sun and his success.

After four hours, we were ready to leave.  When we got back to our car, we thanked the lady for allowing us the use of her driveway.  "I love the beach and am happy that I live so close by.  There is no reason why others shouldn't get to enjoy it as much as I do.  And, if I had a granddaughter around your son's age, I would try to marry them off."  All righty then.

We left Jenness and continued south on Rt. 1.  Not too far down, we came across a large number of seagulls hanging out in the marshy area with all the lily pads.  We parked and watched them for a while.  They were so funny -- squawking at each other, wiggling their back sides, shaking their feathers.  We sat in the car and laughed.

We had a great day.  I am so thankful for these times when Selim wants to be with me and we can be together and so happy.