Awkward conversations

Selim has asked two questions in the past week that have given me pause.  The first one took place in the car, on the way home from karate last Tuesday.  We were talking about karate class when he gave this non-sequitur, "Mom, why don't I have a sister?"  Wow.  I told him that his daddy and I would have loved to have been able to give him a sister; we wanted to have a girl.  We had picked out a name for her already, Layla.  I let him know that we tried; that before he was born the baby in my tummy died and after he was born, we were not successful in having another baby.  When I had my surgery in January, the doctor took out the place where the baby would grow, so I'm not able to have another child. 

He then asked why they took out part of my tummy.  I said, "Because the cells, part of the tissue in my stomach was diseased and I could get really sick if the doctor left all that inside me."  His reaction to that,  "I'm glad I'm not a girl!"

I'm glad he didn't ask the really technical question of where babies come from.  But I was surprised that he wondered about a sister.  In the past, we have talked about how his daddy and I tried to have a bigger family, but we couldn't.  It is interesting to me that he is still thinking about it.

The second conversation took place in the kitchen store in Newington.  We were looking at the display of Christmas cookie cutters and he saw one of a cross.  "Mom, who would want a graveyard cookie for Christmas?"  Oh dear.  We have talked about Jesus and the meaning of Christmas, but I guess I have been neglectful of some of the basic symbols and terminology that is common in our culture.  I can excuse it partly in that his daddy is Muslim and I follow an Eastern meditation practice...but as I was standing in front of that display, I really hoped that nobody was listening to our conversation.

In other news, I now have my own karate uniform.  I need to find out what it is called exactly, because I feel pretty silly calling it a uniform.  I love the class.  On Saturday we were taking turns using sparring technique on the bag and I was thinking that every little girl should do this.  The instructor kept saying, "Go at it.  Give it all you got.  Move around; use combinations; use your hands, use your legs."  To have the permission to be that physical and aggressive in that particular way was a new experience for me.  I had trouble really hitting and kicking.  I was intimidated and felt awkward letting go and really putting my everything into the moves.  At the end, I felt exhilarated.

I don't have a little girl, so I don't know what it is like to parent one.  But I reflect on the pervasive beauty pageant images and I think that those girls should do karate.  They should know what it is like to throw a punch and kick -- to feel strength from their own movement, not just from their looks.  The other thing girls should learn how to do is play golf.  The networking opportunities increase dramatically if you have that skill.

Anyway...finally, we put up our Christmas tree this weekend.  I love taking out the ornaments and Selim does as well.  He put up the majority of them this year.  He has his favorites and I have mine.  He decided that he wanted some to decorate his bedside lamp.  He created quite the little tableau.  So sweet. 

And I have a good start on the holiday cookies.  I have about 3 dozen mint chocolate crinkle and almond jewels and 6 dozen gingersnaps in the freezer.  Next up are roll-outs and gingerbread people.  And if I have the time, the lemon pistachio.

My last really outstanding thing that I need to finish today or tomorrow is our family calendar.  I don't know if I can get it out by Christmas, but if I finish it by tomorrow, I should have it by the new year.  The only problem is that we can't seem to take a good family photo.  I've taken some good ones of Selim.  But the ones of Nedim and I area really bad.  We can't seem to get them right.  May be we will try again tomorrow.