For years I kept journals -- in composition, spiral bound, and French graph paper books. This blog is an attempt to get back to writing and documenting the world around me using photos, newspaper headlines, and other articles.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy New Year

I spent a couple of hours today on Hermit Lake, watching my boy using ice skates for the first time in two years.  He had a hockey stick that he used to help his balance and a helmet on just in case.  The ice was thick enough so that I wasn't anxious.  I was the only one on the ice in my boots.  There was a thin layer of sleet on top of the frozen lake that made the ice not too slippery.  It was just beautiful.  We saw a beaver dam in a bog, fox and duck tracks on the ice and lichens clinging to old trees.  Winter wonderland.

I won't be attending any end of year party.  Instead, I will be fast asleep long before midnight.  And that is just fine with me.  I have so much to be grateful for this year and I'm looking forward to 2012 with optimism.  I anticipate a year of good health, great family time, challenging work, and enjoying the rhythms of regular life.  So good bye 2011 and bring it on, 2012.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas!

Last night Selim had a checklist and I watched him methodically go down the list and knock off all the items.  Put reindeer food out on the lawn, check (with Selim staying inside and yelling instructions at Robert through the open window.) Put milk and cookies out for Santa, check.  Along with the milk and cookies, he put a note and a collage made up of wrapping paper scraps.  The chair had to be festive.  And since Selim did not have permission to wait up and see if Santa was real or not, he set out his friends on the ladder to pay close attention to the tree.




At the end of all his arranging, I asked for a picture with him next to the decorated chair and Santa's snack.  He wouldn't do it.  Robert tried to coax him into standing up, but he really didn't want to.  In the end, he did, but with a grumpy face.  When I got into bed he was in tears -- he thought that this one bad act so close to Santa's arrival would earn him coal in his stocking.  And he was sick of having his picture taken.  He was telling me that he is tired of being in all my pictures.  I told him that on Christmas morning I was going to take a few more, but that I would try to retrain myself from constant photo opportunities.




Today, has been very sweet.  Selim woke up early and fell back asleep until 6:15.  We got up and I started making the breakfast scones while he gazed at the tree and wondered what he was going to get.  He spotted a new friend that Santa's Reindeer left and playing with that made the time go by faster.  At 7:00 I was encouraging Mom and Robert to come out and get the morning started.



Since Heather, Stan, Max, and Joshua were not here this year, the present volume was way down.  At first Selim was racing through and not really paying attention to what he was opening.  We had to make him pause and take a look around at what other people were opening.  He got quite a haul -- Lego's, DS computer games, clothes, golf clubs, jacket, gloves, books, headlamp, flashlight, and a few tree ornaments.





I didn't have anything in particular that I wanted, so I was delighted with earrings and a scarf from Mom and Robert, a craft ornament from Selim.  Heather made me a wedding album from pictures that her family had taken at my wedding.  Nedim arrived just as I was opening that present and it was super sweet to be able to flip through the pages together.  We look much younger.  Neither of us had much grey hair in 2003.

After presents we went over to Amy, Jero, and Jacobs.  The men folk went sledding while Amy and I sat in the kitchen and drank tea.  I had made a photo book chronicling Selim and Jacob's adventures in 2011 and we had fun looking at that together.  I'm so lucky that I have her friendship and that Selim and Jacob have forged such strong bonds in their young lives.

After our fondue lunch, Nedim went back home and I headed down to the pond with Selim.  He wasn't wearing skates, but I insisted that he wear a helmet.  He was running and flopping on the ice.  At one point, he was running down the embankment and skidding across the ice, in penguin position, yelling, "Penguin attack!"  Too funny.







I also managed to finish the lemon cookies and roll out the last of the gingerbread.  The only batch I have left to make are regular chocolate chip.  I should be able to knock those off this evening.  The plate of cookies that I take down to the Schongalla family gathering should be ample and tasty.

Our Christmas card came in time for me to send out the majority before today.  A few will go out next week.  I really like how it turned out.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Random things

I'm happy Selim and I have a homework routine.  Some afternoons are easier than others, but that depends on the contents of his blue folder.  Are we doing math, or the dreaded sentences?  The drawing projects are always fun.  I wrote down this conversation the other day about the three elves and their hats with three bells which he had to draw:
"What else should I draw?"
"Santa?"
"No.  What else?"
"Rudolph?"
"No, he would kick all the presents. (pause) I know, a conveyor belt!"  So he draws a conveyor belt on top of the elves and their hats and tells me, "They are hiding from Santa.  They are too tired to do the work."



...

On Saturday Selim and I went into Portsmouth after karate.  He wanted new stickers and I wanted him to get a haircut.  The drastic cut in London had grown out and it was time for a regular trim.  The woman who cut his hair did a great job and managed to tease him about giving him a Mohawk.




He insisted that we wear our festive hats around town.  He wore his elf hat and I wore the Santa hat with the fake fur trim.  I have no modesty and no shame.  What could I do?  I know I looked ridiculous, but he was so into the idea of us in hats that I couldn't disappoint.






...

On Sunday Selim had a play date with a boy in his class.  I thought I would drop him off and come back to the house and bake or wrap presents, but that wasn't in his plan.  "Mom, you aren't leaving me there."  And so I didn't.  I sat at the kitchen high counter with his friend's mom, drinking tea and talking.  She sewed bells on socks while we chatted and it was very nice.  The boys played well together and it was nice for me to have adult conversation. 

Sunday evening we went to our neighbors' house for dinner.  There was another couple there and they had two kids.  The five kids played well and Nedim and I got to meet and talk with other parents and it was really great.  I brought a plate of Christmas cookies and that was perfect.  Selim didn't want us to leave the leftover cookies or the pretty green plate behind.  I tried to explain that we had plenty at home, but he wasn't satisfied.  Oh well.

...

I finally mailed out the box to California yesterday.  I don't have our family calendars back yet -- I just couldn't get my act together and order that in a timely way.  That will have to be a New Years gift.  It isn't as if Christmas can sneak up on me; the date is always the same.  But for some reason, I have a hard time getting everything done that I want in the time frame that it optimum.  Sigh.  I will have a nice plate of cookies and fudge to take down to the Schongalla family get together and that makes me happy.

Every year at work I have given out little boxes of cookies to my supervisor and team mates.  This year I have three team mates who will appreciate the sweets, one who is on the fence about deserts and two who I've never seen eat sugar at all.  I don't want to waste my baking on somebody who won't  I went to the market and bought eat it and at the same time, I would feel awkward not giving them anything.  I decided to get tamari almonds, dried mango, big plump dates and health food store nut brittle and I hope that will be festive enough for those dudes.

I haven't felt very well for a while now and that makes everything harder.  I'm so tired.  I just have two more work days until I get a nice break.  I'm taking the whole week off between Christmas and New Years.  I haven't taken a week off for vacation this entire year.  I had the month of January at home while I recuperated from surgery and I'm not counting that as vacation.  I took two days in Arizona in March and a few days when I returned from London.  But that is it.  I feel as though my body has reached its limit and I hope I can hang on just two more days.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Awkward conversations

Selim has asked two questions in the past week that have given me pause.  The first one took place in the car, on the way home from karate last Tuesday.  We were talking about karate class when he gave this non-sequitur, "Mom, why don't I have a sister?"  Wow.  I told him that his daddy and I would have loved to have been able to give him a sister; we wanted to have a girl.  We had picked out a name for her already, Layla.  I let him know that we tried; that before he was born the baby in my tummy died and after he was born, we were not successful in having another baby.  When I had my surgery in January, the doctor took out the place where the baby would grow, so I'm not able to have another child. 

He then asked why they took out part of my tummy.  I said, "Because the cells, part of the tissue in my stomach was diseased and I could get really sick if the doctor left all that inside me."  His reaction to that,  "I'm glad I'm not a girl!"

I'm glad he didn't ask the really technical question of where babies come from.  But I was surprised that he wondered about a sister.  In the past, we have talked about how his daddy and I tried to have a bigger family, but we couldn't.  It is interesting to me that he is still thinking about it.

The second conversation took place in the kitchen store in Newington.  We were looking at the display of Christmas cookie cutters and he saw one of a cross.  "Mom, who would want a graveyard cookie for Christmas?"  Oh dear.  We have talked about Jesus and the meaning of Christmas, but I guess I have been neglectful of some of the basic symbols and terminology that is common in our culture.  I can excuse it partly in that his daddy is Muslim and I follow an Eastern meditation practice...but as I was standing in front of that display, I really hoped that nobody was listening to our conversation.

In other news, I now have my own karate uniform.  I need to find out what it is called exactly, because I feel pretty silly calling it a uniform.  I love the class.  On Saturday we were taking turns using sparring technique on the bag and I was thinking that every little girl should do this.  The instructor kept saying, "Go at it.  Give it all you got.  Move around; use combinations; use your hands, use your legs."  To have the permission to be that physical and aggressive in that particular way was a new experience for me.  I had trouble really hitting and kicking.  I was intimidated and felt awkward letting go and really putting my everything into the moves.  At the end, I felt exhilarated.

I don't have a little girl, so I don't know what it is like to parent one.  But I reflect on the pervasive beauty pageant images and I think that those girls should do karate.  They should know what it is like to throw a punch and kick -- to feel strength from their own movement, not just from their looks.  The other thing girls should learn how to do is play golf.  The networking opportunities increase dramatically if you have that skill.

Anyway...finally, we put up our Christmas tree this weekend.  I love taking out the ornaments and Selim does as well.  He put up the majority of them this year.  He has his favorites and I have mine.  He decided that he wanted some to decorate his bedside lamp.  He created quite the little tableau.  So sweet. 







And I have a good start on the holiday cookies.  I have about 3 dozen mint chocolate crinkle and almond jewels and 6 dozen gingersnaps in the freezer.  Next up are roll-outs and gingerbread people.  And if I have the time, the lemon pistachio.





My last really outstanding thing that I need to finish today or tomorrow is our family calendar.  I don't know if I can get it out by Christmas, but if I finish it by tomorrow, I should have it by the new year.  The only problem is that we can't seem to take a good family photo.  I've taken some good ones of Selim.  But the ones of Nedim and I area really bad.  We can't seem to get them right.  May be we will try again tomorrow.



Sunday, December 4, 2011

Been a while

I'm not finding a lot of extra time in my day to sit down and write.  When I realized that I would have one hour a day free, the hour between the time I got home from work and Selim got off the school bus, I decided that I would use that time to exercise.  Yeah, well, it took me two months to follow through, but I finally started.  I enjoy moving my body; it is just so hard since I have put on thirteen pounds this year.  I think the weight gain is a combination of my surgery last January, the lack of exercise and eating out this summer, and the lack of walking when I got back from London.  The first week I managed two workouts.  The next week I did two or three.  But this past week, I got in five.

The other activity I started is karate.  Two weeks ago Selim moved into the big person karate class.  I had told him that if he left the pee-wee class, I would join the big person class with him.  Since he moved up, I had to keep my word.  There is such a nice atmosphere in the class.  There are many families doing it together -- husbands, wives and kids.  Last Tuesday I took my first class.  It is fun for me that for this one area in life, he ranks higher.  I went again yesterday and the class was a killer work out.  It was less about the forms (sequence of different movements) and more about repetition of the same technique.  We did lots of kicks and thigh work.   By the end of class I was so sweaty and tired -- but I felt great.  This morning my quads are still quivery.

In other aspects of life -- I wanted to post a couple of Thanksgiving pictures.  We had such a lovely day.  It was warm and it felt very relaxed.  Nedim put up the lights on the outside of the house.  And Selim drew each of us a place mat/place card.  He worked really hard on them.  When I suggested that he stop and eat breakfast, he told me, "Artists don't stop to eat, Mom.  They work until they are done." 





By the time Mom and Robert got here at 11:00, I had all the side dishes and the desserts finished.  My goal was to eat at 2:00 and we started 15 minutes early.  The only problem with the Thanksgiving meal is that Nedim and Selim don't really like the traditional dishes.  So I need to find dishes next year that Selim will eat.  Dessert was no problem.  I made three pies for five people.  I made pumpkin, chocolate pecan and cheesecake with cranberry topping. 





After Mom and Robert left, I went in the back to take a short nap.  I ended up sleeping for 11 hours -- waking up when Mom called to say that they made it back home, and around 9:00 to find both of my guys asleep on the couch.  On Friday, we went to the Ashram.  While Selim went out looking for animal tracks in the snow with Robert and Jacob, I fell asleep for another two hours on the couch.  I should have been quilting, but I couldn't stay awake.



On Saturday, I managed to quilt twelve squares and get in a walk with Amy.  We went down to the Franklin Falls Dam where Selim and Jacob rode their bikes and we walked and talked.  Even though there was snow on the ground, the air temperature was in the upper 40s.  We got back to find Mom and Robert working in the little apple tree garden. 








And, we tried taking our Christmas pictures this morning, but we looked really bad.  I have some good ones of Selim is his Rudolph nose from yesterday.  But the ones of me and Nedim are less than stellar.  It doesn't help that we don't have our tree yet and there isn't a festive place in the house yet.  I guess I should clean out the corner where we put the tree so we can get that up this week.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Big boy belt

Today's usual karate class was replaced with testing.  On Tuesday I was informed/warned that the test takes about 2 1/2 hours because of the different ranks of students, all taking part.  I brought snacks, a novel, and my camera.  Good thing, because I needed all three as the morning wore on.

We arrive at 9:00am and Selim starts stretching with his friends.








Everybody bowed in and then they started doing upper body technique --punches, blocks, chops, combinations, etc.  First up the orange belts, then the pee-wees, yellow and whites, followed by greens, then the browns and red.  Selim was in the second group.






Followed by waiting while the upper belt colors go through their punches. 





Next up are the kicks.





Followed by more waiting.  Then the forms -- a series of moves strung together.  Kind of like a dance routine, but staccato and with punching.  Watching the brown and red belts move through a series of forms was really cool.  I could hear the force of their punches by how their uniforms snapped with the movement.  I've been thinking about joining when Selim moves up to the 7 - adult class and this made me want to do it.




Followed by more waiting.  Then tumbling.



More waiting.  Then self-defense moves. 





And more waiting...




And then board braking.  When some of the bigger people were breaking the boards, it took more than one person to absorb the shock of the break.





Finally, new belt color!  Ms. Hebert gets his old belt off and Master Rivera ties on the new.






At 1:45, four hour and 45 minutes later, we were walking out, proud and hungry.