Anybody who has known me since childhood knows that I have struggled with the English language. I don't know if it stems from the move when I was in third grade from Laguna Beach, CA to Sanbornton, NH -- and I changed schools and methods of teaching. But my early years were fraught with the struggle to spell, read, and make any sense out of my native language. When I had to write a paper for English class, I would sit at the dining room table and cry.
It wasn't until my high school years when I studied Spanish that I discovered that the written word could be beautiful. In Spanish I found a language that I could sound out and spell the words. Reading became a joy for the first time. I understood why people talked about constructing a beautiful sentence. In college I was able to make the transition and start appreciating English for the first time. I still struggle with spelling, but writing has gotten easier over the years. I no longer cry before starting any writing assignment. Progress.
So last night I'm sitting at a table in the Sheraton hotel conference room with my group of the Executive Leadership Program. It is the opening session for our graduation week. Our coordinator has asked the people who turned in their assignments early, those who did more than the requirements, those who lost weight, got promoted or changed jobs to all stand up and get recognized. Then she asked me to stand. In front of the whole group she said that she appreciated my program impact paper, that I was a wonderful writer and that my paper was one of the best she has ever read. Excuse me? Do you have the right person? For real? I was floored. Giddy. When I got back to my room I couldn't stop laughing. I have come full circle from the little girl who got 24 out of 25 words wrong on her first spelling test and was afraid to commit words to paper for not knowing how to write them -- to getting recognized in front of 160 of my peers for having the best paper. Go figure.
Oh my, the Bruins just scored 2 goals in less than a minute. It is game 6, a win or go home game for them in the Stanley Cup Finals. Vancouver looks shell shocked. Go Boston!
OK. Back to the writing thing. I have a self-inflicted inferiority complex that I have been working on. Both my siblings are published authors. They are brilliant and amazing. Their writings are intellectual and inspirational. I think of myself as a practical and less complex thinker. I don't mean to sell myself short, but I'm aware that I have not developed the gift of painting with words, putting form to ideas, and constructing complex plots that they have. I have a notebook of writings from when Selim was in the hospital that I would love to turn into a book but I have not put in the time to get it ready to send off to anybody to look at. I also have this vision of a book that incorporates pictures of sacred buildings with text from the major religions. A coffee table/meditation book that would be a compilation of inspirational writings to be paired with beautiful architecture. May be this recognition will be the shot of confidence I need to actually pursue my visions.
The Bruins just scored again. They are up 3 nothing, with 11 minutes to go in the first period. Last night Dallas won the NBA finals, beating the Miami Heat in 6 games. I was rooting for Dirk and the Mavs. LaBron can wait another year before he gets his first ring, as far as I am concerned.
I am looking forward to the graduation from this program. I have gotten a great deal out of these past nine months. I hope I am coming out of it with a greater sense of myself and my ability to lead, listen, and learn.
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