Communication gaps

This summer, the communication with my hubby has been hard and lacking in any real depth.  Going back to second shift means we don't see each other very much.  It is impossible to remember to say what is important when we are in the parent on duty hand-off mode, and I am rushing to get out the door to work.  I'm barking out reminders for the night and he is trying to shift the mental gears from finishing up his work to being home.  Or worse, he is still on the phone and I'm carrying on with my instructions, as if he has never been alone with Selim for an evening before because I'm still the mom and have to have my say.  Sigh.  When I get home, he is asleep.  So we call each other during the day with the things that we forgot when we parted ways in the morning.  Not ideal.

So a few weeks ago he asked if he could go to North Carolina to attend a large meeting of the Turkish American Cultural Center and business folks, leaving on Labor Day and returning on Thursday.   All the Turkish representatives from around the country would be there and they would have meetings with government people.  Seemed reasonable and he was excited about it.  We looked at the calendar; since Monday was a holiday, no problem.  Tuesday was my first compressed day off so that would work.  Wednesday Mom comes.  And Thursday I would take off or we could ask Mom if she could stay on one more night.

Sunday night while at Heather's I was surfing online and seeing all these references for the Democratic National Convention being held in Charlotte, NC for the week.  Somehow I missed that the convention was following so closely on the heals of the Republican one in Tampa.  Hmmm.  Was that the large gathering that my hubby was going to?

On Monday morning I called him mid-morning to make sure that he landed OK.  Our conversation went something like this:

     "Are you in Charlotte?"
     "Yes."
     "North Carolina?"
     "Yes."
     "Are you going to the Democratic Convention?"
     "Yes."
     "Did you know that is where you were going before you left?"
     "Yes, Tatlim (our Americanized version of Turkish, my sweetie). I knew."
     "When were you going to tell me?"
     "I didn't think about it.  I'm heading into a meeting to talk with people.  I'll call you back later."

All righty then.  All week our conversations were cut short because of, "Gotta go, I'm about to go through security to meet Michelle Obama." 

Or, "I'm having breakfast with the Governor and I have to catch a ride to his hotel."  Or, "I can't hear you the noise inside is too much.  Turn on the TV and see if you see me.  There are cameras everywhere." 

He was in his element -- just in a completely more sophisticated, polished, professional, high powered crowd.  Now he is off to an Obama rally in Portsmouth this morning.

The whole political scene makes me sad.  From my perspective, there is so little honesty in the fervor of the campaign.  Don't people remember that it was under Bush that the economy collapsed?  How many millions of jobs vanished under Bush?  Why do people have amnesia about that and blame Obama?  Why wouldn't we want some banking regulations back in place.  We saw the results of deregulation and it wasn't pretty.  What is so wrong with people with existing medical conditions have health insurance?  Or removing medical caps?  God forbid something happens to Selim later in life because his birth costs upwards of $300,000.  He wouldn't have much left in the cap system.

Is the recession all Bush's fault?  No.  Is the slow recovery all Obama's fault?  No.  Will the economy drastically improve under Romney?  No.  The person at the top has some influence, but not as much as all the ads want us to believe.  There are global forces at play here, as well as the effects of decisions made years ago that are now coming to fruition.

For me, it comes down to the social issues.  I want a leader who respects my ability to make moral decisions about my body without regulatory oversight.  I want a leader who believes in equality in all its forms, including marriage.  I want a leader who has the humility to recognize all the forms of help he has received in life and is grateful for them.  I want a leader who values public service and servants, both military and civilian regardless of their political party, gender or who they love.  I want a leader who understands the difference between the important role government plays in the oversight clean water and air and the role that it should not play in the number of children I birth.  I want a leader who sees the value of all Americans, not just the rich.