Withdrawing from the argument

I was so keyed up last night by all the hatred and vitriol over Syrian refugees that I couldn't sleep. I understand fear, prudence, caution.  I get subtext, coded language, and propaganda.  I understand trying to gain political favor with us vs them language. It is easier to mobilize for war than it is for peace.  But it doesn't make it right or easy to swallow.

The thing is, I'm scared.  I'm scarred for my family, my hubby.  He looks every bit his ethnic background and he doesn't always speak English when he is out and about with his friends. He has been profiled and followed by police in the past because of his looks.

     "What are you doing here?" a policeman asked my husband as he bought cigarettes in a Cumberland Farms in Milford back in 2003/2004.

     "Buying cigarettes."

    "No, what are you doing here?"
 
   "I live up the street and I'm heading home."
   
    "No, WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING. HERE?"

My hubby had the audacity to be a naturalized US citizen, working 3rd shift at a power plant and minding his own business.  That is what he was doing there.  But that isn't what the cop meant.  Fast forward to 2015 and we just moved to a new town and I don't know if the local cops and town folk know him.  Luckily it is a university town that has some diversity.  But will he feel safe?  Will some ignorant wacko think he is a terrorist?  I'm afraid.

And I'm pissed.  Rhetoric is powerful.  There are consequence to riling up the masses and creating fear disproportionate to the situation.   How do we let our politicians compare Syrian refugees with rabid dogs?  How is that allowed in civilized political discourse?  Can we be considering a man for president who says we should have a national registry for Muslims?  Hello?  Religious registry, and those of other ethnic backgrounds forced to self-identify with a physical card or symbol -- ring any bells, people?  Where is the outrage, the indignation, the condemnation?   I wasn't alive then, so I don't "remember" but I am pretty sure that we fought a major war that put a stop to that.  All this verbal spewing on the national stage makes me ill and afraid for my family.  This is real to me.  It may be abstract for you, but it is not for me. What the average person hears in all this noise is Middle East = Muslim = terrorist.  My husband is from that part of the world and he is Muslim and he is not a terrorist.  But the reality of the situation gets lost in the shouting and outrage.

Folks on social media say that we are a Christian nation with Christian values.  My simplistic understanding of Christianity is that it calls for us to love our neighbors as ourselves...that we are to find God in all humanity because Christ dwells in all and that we treat others how we would like to be treated.  So how do we go from telling the world that we are a Christian nation, to slamming doors and our hearts to the needy, afraid, destitute, and the suffering?  These people fleeing their homeland are our brothers and sisters in God, neighbors on this planet.  We are interconnected as one humanity with God residing in all.  So I am at a loss as to how a Christian nation such as ours can demand such un-Christian like behavior from our leaders and citizens.

We seem to have the political will to keep refugees out.  But where is the political will or moral fiber or outrage over the gun violence that kills Americans every. single. day.  The gunmen who go into our schools, churches, movie theaters are somehow lone actors with mental health issues and we can't do anything about it.  Rugged individualism at its finest.  Columbine, Sandy Hook, or Blacksburg -- hand-wringing and excuses but no demand for change.  There is a Wikipedia page just on school shootings.  Sobering.  Why aren't we talking about having the FBI and Homeland Security Directors give their personal stamp of approval for every person who buys a gun in this country so that we can be 100% sure that the guns purchased will not be used to kill people? If we can create a database for refugees and Muslims, it shouldn't be too hard to add gun owners in another column.  Right?  While we are at it....I mean, we have more Americans killed with guns than we have had die from refugee perpetrated violence in this country.  According to one web site that tracks gun violence, over 11,000 people have died this year from guns. That is more than Paris.  More than the two brothers killed at the Boston Marathon.  Why isn't my social media feed clamoring for new laws and protections to keep us safe from our people already in this country who have guns? Crickets.

I'm also sad.  The other day I had a conversation with Selim about the nickname his friends have given him, Seymour.

     "Do you like the nickname?  Are you OK with it?  Or do you wish they would call you by your name?"

     "I like it.  Nicky gave it to me because he couldn't say Selim." Pause.  "Why did you give me a Turkish name?"

     "Because it was important to your Dad. I got your middle name."

     "But did you have to give me a Turkish name?"

My heart breaks a bit.

    "We named you after a dear friend who passed away right before you were born.  He was from Turkey and was like an older brother to your father.  I liked him as well.  He was warm and welcoming. When we would go to his house and everybody was speaking in a language I couldn't understand, he was the one that would translate the joke or fill me in on the heated discussion so that I would feel included.  He was a wonderful man.  His name was Selim and we named you to honor that friendship."

     "Oh."

     "I didn't let your dad give you a name that I felt would be really hard to live with.  I thought that Selim was different, but wouldn't be a burden for you."

I don't want my child to hate his Turkish name.  I get it that at this age he wants to fit in like the other kids named Nick, Will, and John Henry. And that is part of it.  But I don't want him to feel he has to hide part of who he is in order to be safe.  And if this rhetoric and grandstanding carries on much longer, it will become a safety issue.  I want him to understand that Islam is a beautiful religion.  The people that carried out the attacks in Paris are not the standard bearers of Islam any more than the KKK is the true representative of all things Christian.

So, this is this is my last rant on the subject. I'm not going to comment on the horrible things I'm seeing.  I am withdrawing from this field.  I'm sad, discouraged.  I don't want to spend the mental energy trying to get people to understand that not all Muslims are terrorists.  Not all refugees are terrorists.  That we already have in place a screening process for refugees.  It has worked pretty well.  I'm not advocating for stopping the process and opening our borders without any screening or due diligence.  If you are curious on what the process really is, look up some of the immigration attorneys who are writing about it, or check out the White House Blog.  The journey of a refugee is arduous and not a free ticket to the US.

Until I start seeing my social media filled with suggestions for our true national problems: housing homeless veterans, finding jobs from returning soldiers, raising minimum wage to get people out of poverty, making college education affordable for all who wish to attend, having career ladder jobs for our young citizens, the rising cost of necessary cancer drugs, finding ways to get food to the hungry, ending domestic violence, stopping sex trafficking and forced child labor, healing racial inequities, figuring out why we have so many drug and alcohol abusers in our communities, ideas for ending the epidemic of gun violence...I am not going to listen to the fabricated concern and self-righteous indignation over refugees.   La la la, I can't hear you.

Also know that I will never vote for a man who takes his political ideas from Hitler or who compares human beings to rabid dogs. Not. Going. To. Happen. Ever. I don't want a race-baiting bully driving the national conversation.  I want my government to show leadership and courage in the face of fear and terror.  As our Lady Liberty says:

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she

With silent lips.  "Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"