For years I kept journals -- in composition, spiral bound, and French graph paper books. This blog is an attempt to get back to writing and documenting the world around me using photos, newspaper headlines, and other articles.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

And how was your sparring?

This evening Selim and I were talking about our morning karate class.  I asked him about his sparring.  I had heard Mrs Hebert saying, "Good hit...nice kick...good Selim...that's the way..." while he was in action.  I was on the upper mat area and had my back towards his mat and couldn't observe.  Selim said that he felt that he had "lost" to each of his opponents.  That surprised me since I had heard such good comments coming from his instructor.  So then he asked me, "Mom, how did you do?"
     "I got on the mat, faced Mr Hebert, went into Hu Kul Ja Seh (fighting stance) and then started to cry.  I couldn't help myself.  I just stood there ready with tears running down my cheeks. So that is how I did."
     "Sparring isn't that scary, Mom."
     "I wasn't scared.  I just feel uncomfortable with the idea of fighting.  And even though sparring isn't fighting -- it is hard for me."
     "Did you spar at all?"
     "Yeah, I did.  I managed a few blocks, kicks, punches.  I did the two minutes that everybody else did, only slower and not in combination."
     "You know once you get to be a yellow belt, you can't cry anymore.  You have to get all your tears out before you test for your yellow belt."

I do have to figure out how to stop crying once I'm supposed to spar.  Throughout the two minutes, Mr Hebert kept up a constant verbal stream of encouragement and helpful prattle, "Think of it as bringing out the other person's technique...demonstrate the moves you know...we aren't fighting...this is all about movements in combination...move around...think about being prepared, knowing you could protect yourself and Selim...don't be intimidated...keep your hands by your face...you are doing fine...it is one thing to practice kicking into the air, but feel what it is like when you make contact...nice combination...don't do the same moves each time...keep me off balance...nice...you are doing fine...good job."

I kept at it for the two minutes.  I felt like an idiot, but I did it.  As I was putting on my shoes at the end of class, one of the young guys asked me if had been my first time sparring.  I told him that it wasn't, but I am not yet comfortable with it.  He smiled and said that I had done a good job.  Very sweet of him to say that.

I think my uncomfortableness comes from a few places -- I didn't grow up fighting.  Heather and I didn't get physical and punch each other.  We didn't play like that.  Thirty plus years ago, I don't remember an emphasis placed on teaching young girls how to spar in self-defense.  In college I could have taken a class, but otherwise, it wasn't a regular thing.  And I've grown up following the principle of ahimsa, non-injury to living beings, as a viable way to live a life.  So getting into "fighting stance" and facing another person triggers all sorts of emotions that result in tears.  Clearly, I need to change up how I feel about it all, and soon.  The idea of trying to bring out the technique of my opponent was very helpful.  It made the exercise less about a fight or sparring and more about choreographed movements, done in free form.  I think I can have a less emotional reaction if I think about it those terms.

Moving on...I cooked my version of Indian food tonight.  I fried tofu lin, paneer and onions and set them aside.  Then I par boiled potatoes and sweet potatoes until just tender.  After draining those, I added back in the paneer, onions and tofu lin and poured a jar of tikka masala and a bit of water over the whole thing.  Then I made up a batch of chappatis and a pot of rice.  But the star of the meal was the tea.  I steeped three mint tea bags with two green in 4+ cups of water.  To that I added about 1/2 the rind of an orange, peeled off into strips and a couple of teaspoons of sugar.  Lovely.  The orange rind really adds a great nuanced orangy flavor without overpowering the mint.  If I had fresh mint to add instead of the tea bags, I'm sure it would have been even better.

Selim has cleared off the couch, dumped a book right beside me and is counting to ten.  I need to start the bed time routine.  My time at the computer is up.

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